"Who can tell me about chainsaws?" I asked the guy in the tools aisle.
"Actually, chainsaws are in garden."
Crap, that's all the way back where I came in the store. I guess that sort of makes sense, but I was on my feet for 7 hours at work. Eh, I have to walk that in the parking lot to get back to my car anyway. Sigh.
"Who can tell me about chainsaws?" I asked the guy in the garden aisle.
"Let me get you Tom. I don't have a walkie, but we can find someone who does. He's the second smartest guy in the store."
"Why aren't you getting me the smartest?"
"He doesn't know anything about chainsaws."
"OK, second smartest it is."
Tom came over, brought me to the chainsaws, and asked about my project.
Having figured out what I needed, he asked about my price range, and didn't even try to get me to spend an extra $20. He then scanned the chainsaw and discovered it listed zero in stock.
Then he opened a dusty case on the bottom shelf and discovered that zero wasn't quite true. But there appeared to be a lubricant leak in the case.
Tom then obtained a roll of rags, and as he cleaned out the case, he explained about the two-cycle engine, the sort of gas-oil mix I'd need, where to put the lubricant, and he replaced the crushed, leaking lubricant can.
And then he gave me a display-item discount on the saw, which has been cutting perfectly.
Rock on, Home Depot.